Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm passing your future prison.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
