i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
do nipples grow back?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
