shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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