i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
