How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
