Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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