I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
