and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up