I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am one with the molecules