Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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