i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?