I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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