this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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