I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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