I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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