I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
