maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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