Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
