i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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