I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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