quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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