Fine. I'll sleep in my office
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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