how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
