Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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