so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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