So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
