You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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