So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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