Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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