How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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