no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I had to cum in my sink.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
