She said her name was "party"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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