he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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