i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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