walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
