would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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