so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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