My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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