Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
