was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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