im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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