Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
