I am in a vortex of obligation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
