dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
