the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize