At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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