grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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