Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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