What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.