we have officially lost it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY