I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
