he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
