remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize