I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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