if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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