Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize