Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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