glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
