did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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