dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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