But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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